He Shoots, He Scores…Barely.

So, I’m driving home tonight. OK I guess you really can’t call 5-10 mph “driving”.

<Take 2>

So, I’m crawling home tonight in my middle-aged commuter car along with thousands of other corporate drones and listening to the some tunes. And, wouldn’t you know it but a song comes on which has so many underlying thoughts that really sum up life in the corporate world – Synchronicity II, by the Police. Take a listen to the words Sting belts out. They ring true on so many levels. Anyway, as I heard two parts in particular, it got me thinking about the day. First up:

And every single meeting with his so called superior
Is a humiliating kick in the crotch. 

Which is followed by the oh so appropriate commute line:

Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes
Contestants in a suicidal race.
Daddy grips the wheel and stares alone into the distance
He knows that something somewhere has to break. 

And, while I knew that I’d be greeted by a happy family when I got home, I kept thinking about the day. Today was a very…interesting day. Not good. Not bad. Just…interesting. Time will tell how interesting and whether good, bad or whatever.

As I reflected on the day, it hit me. Today was February 1st. One month into the New Year. One-twelfth of the way through 2012 (that’s 0.0833 for you metric folks). And, as is customary in my company, it’s time for a status review. That time when you look back on your responsibilities and see how you are doing. With that I figured it was a great time to reflect on the status of Cubicle View’s New Years Resolutions

Those of you who know me, or have been reading my thoughts here, know that I don’t do Top 10 lists. I do lists that have whatever number comes to mind at that time. And, my NY resolutions entailed 7 things. So, how am I doing?

#1 – Limit my Inbox to less than 20 items by day’s end.
I work for a company that does business literally around the world. And, with offices in many countries, I get email coming in 24 hours a day. So, keeping it down to 20ish items in my inbox by days end is really difficult. OK cut to the chase CV…

Here’s today’s count at the end of the day.

157 Items. FAIL.

But, let me explain today was an untypical day. I was in meetings from roughly noon until 6pm straight (more or less). But, on a typical day, I’ve been pretty good. Not 20, but in the 30ish range. So, not too shabby.

#2 – Use my vacation time.
Well, it’s only 1 month into the year so there really wasn’t much time to take time off. Plus, we had MLK day off. Therefore, no vacation time used. FAIL

Good news though – I’m taking a day off in the next couple weeks. WOOT!

#3 – Turn off during off hours.
Maybe because I’m in one of those, “damn I’m feeling burnt out” phases but, I’ve actually been really good with this. I’ve been quite successful at tossing the smartphone in the drawer with my keys at night and not checking work email. HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES.

#4 – I’m going to say NO more often.
This one’s all about priorities, keeping them and not…well…just bending over. Translation – super challenging given the work world these days. I’ve been OK with this one. For every, “you can take that suggestion and shove it where the sun don’t shine”, I’ve likely grabbed my ankles once. No, I’m not proud of that, but listen here all you out there reading this with smug, “I told you so faces”, I’ve got a mortgage (scary Bay Area one too) and kids to cover. Plus a fairly healthy whiskey and wine habit. So, we’ll call this one A PUSH.

#5 – I’m going to be more direct.
Let’s sum my status on this one up like this:
I am part of a department that is so freaking weird it’s like a scene out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest only we let the inmates go home at night.  Got the visual. See that little Danny DeVito character. Got a good image? Well, in my department HE IS AN GIRL. And, yes, he/she is constantly giggling. We’re only missing Nurse Ratched thank God. That direct enough an visual for you? HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES.

#6 – Be more self-promoting.
Oh I’m all over this one, because I Rock! See, told you so.
I’ve got a plan in place for the next 6ish months that will make me look like Brad Pitt. Only without the great hair. And, the millions of $’s. Nor, Angelina. OK maybe the Brad Pitt thing was a stretch, but I’m doing a lot. And, while it’s likely not going to result in much as it relates to my current gig, it’s going to make great fodder for that time if/when I need to interview again. So, go with it OK.  We’ll call this one A PUSH +.

#7 – Resist the urge to punch a certain coworker in the throat.
<Full disclosure: the concept of punching someone in the throat, while very effective, wasn’t my concept. Full credit to Jen in all her throat punching glory.> Probably the most difficult one bar none. This has been brutal. I so want to punch one…OK quite a few people in the throat, face, gut, kidneys…
<Breathe…count to ten>
OK, I’m back now. But, seriously, Cubicle George has been killing me. Today, he was in classic, annoying form. Crappy speakerphone calls. Self-serving emails and speeches.
Serenity Now. Serenity Now.
This one has been huge HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES. For now…

So, at the one-twelfth/0.0833 checkpoint, by my score keeping we are at:
2 Fails
2 Pushes (one a Push +) and,
3 He Shoots, He Scores

By my count I’m winning! Only 11 more months to go. God speed.


P. S.  Now if I could only get back to the gym.


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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