The Weekly TPS Report – Feb 10

What a week it’s been!

Oh, who am I kidding, it was just your average 6 days crammed into 5 actual days in Cubeville.

So kids, what did we learn this week?

  • Having to help the boy with chemistry homework is clearly my punishment for not having paid attention during chemistry when I was in high school.
  • Yes it’s possible for a new hire to piss off his coworkers in less than 3 days.
  • I’m happy that I’m not successful. No really. Because I wouldn’t want Mrs CV to be labeled my Yoko Ono. Yeah I’m looking at you Gisele Bundchen…How you doin? 😉
  • Everyone’s worried China will launch a cyber-war. Don’t y’all realize they make every tech thing we use? Trojan horse anyone? Is that a black helicopter outside?
  • While it’s possible to have a ring tone of I’m Sexy And I Know It, it is not acceptable to have said ring tone serenading us in the office hourly. Vibrate A-Hole!
  • It should be a Constitutional Amendment that when having a meeting after lunch, in a large room, with all the lights off, that lasts for over an hour, that you are required to serve lots of caffeine.
  • Holy crap! Password reset time again? If you need me I’ll be taking a nap waiting patiently for my computer to be unlocked by IT as clearly I didn’t learn last time what the phrase “Your Password Has Expired. You Must Change It Now” means.
  • I prefer Super Bowl parties where people are equally interested in the commercials, the Halftime Show AND the game. And, no I’m not giving up my Man Card.
  • When someone says “I want to be respectful of everyone’s time” generally means it will be a waste of yours.
  • You can lead a horse, and their mouth to water. But, you can’t make them drink. In the work world this is equivalent to putting all the information they would ever need in an easy to find area, like on the public website. But, inevitably a horse’s ass will still ask you where they can find the info – weekly.

**Bonus learning hot off the presses**

  • Marriage saving iPhone app of the day: “Find iPhone”. Why? Mrs CV calls me from 350+ miles away (not from iPhone) because she can’t find it. Thanks to that app I found it in her work parking garage. And, left a snarky message on it. 

About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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2 Responses to The Weekly TPS Report – Feb 10

  1. A Causal Observer says:

    I want to be respectful of your time, so I’ll make this quick. (I share this with you as I ask IT to unlock my computer. “Your password has expired. Please log in to change your password.” Except I can’t log in, since aforementioned password has expired. I’m sure IT has marked me down as a horse’s ass in my permanent record.)

    Even if you have great taste in music, no song is appropriate to be repeatedly played as your ringtone. If you leave your ringtone on loud and wander away, I reserve right to hide your phone and loathe you from afar. That’ll lose you cube privileges. Unless it’s really all China behind this. The silent black helicopters have unleashed Trojan Horses that force all passwords to expire and torture us Clockwork Orange style with pop music ringtones.

    I’ll be the one outside the IT offices in a tinfoil hat should you need anything more.

    • CubicleViews says:

      Wow A Causal Observer seems you have a confluence of events there and I empathize? Sympathize? with you.

      Either that or you’ve had way too much coffee and/or stayed up late watching X-Files.

      I’d say Happy Friday but if you are like me odds are it will be far from a happy day in cubeland. So Happy Almost Weekend.

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