The Weekly TPS Report – Feb 17

A long week in the cube and a Valentines day to boot. If I don’t learn anything this week I’ll likely be out of work and/or single come this time next year.

  • Apparently, to some of my coworkers, legal agreements are merely suggestions.
  • I may have spent more time driving this week than in the cube. Hence, learning I’m not cut out to be a trucker. But, if I were, my rig would be blue and have more lights than a Griswold house at Christmas – trucker bling.
  • Safeway’s flowers on Valentine’s night are surprisingly good. Related…
  • Trying to convince the Mrs that Valentine’s Day isn’t a “real” holiday because government workers don’t have the day off is a losing proposition before I even formed the thought in my brain.
  • Driving ice-picks into my ear drums is more appealing than forgetting my noise canceling headphones on a day when Cubicle George and WikiWally are having a verbal equivalent of cock fight in cubeville.
  • I love dark chocolate and it goes quite well with a good whiskey.
  • The amount of effort people put into NOT doing their job would likely be enough to actually do their job and someone else’s at the same time.
  • There should be bonus points for actually humping on hump day.
  • I’m not sure how, but I seem to have mastered the ability to talk for 15-20 minutes straight, having no clue what I said, and not eliciting any questions in return.
    It’s a skill really.
  • Clearly the educational gods are punishing me for not in much effort during high school chemistry by forcing me to help CV jr. with his chemistry homework.
  • Dreams about punching certain coworkers in the nose are very satisfying, but I’m guessing not as satisfying as actually punching certain coworkers in the nose.
  • Followers who engage and comment make me smile. Thank you all – you know who you are.

Turns out it IS a 3-day President’s weekend in my world and I’m going to enjoy every moment of it. I hope you enjoy your weekend as well.

P.S. If you have questions you want answered about cube life or life in general (and don’t mind being royally led astray) submit them to me and you too may be subjected to ridicule a star of Dear CV. You can reach me at:


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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