The best average person I can be

It’s that time of year again. The trees are blooming. It’s getting warm outside. Daylight savings time has come. Baseball is picking up steam. Yep, it’s Spring and I love it (well, not the allergies). Do you know what else is going on in the walls of Corporate America? Yeah that’s right, the dreaded performance review.

I know they are a fact of life in the office. I know they are the basis for raises and god forbid layoffs. I know that they are a tool for motivating the team. I know they are a method for reflecting on what you’ve done and looking forward to what you should do. I get all of that. They are important and necessary. But, I hate the performance review process.

Most people I’ve worked with hate performance reviews primarily because they are uncomfortable. It’s you and the boss. The boss telling you what you did wrong provides constructive criticism. And, frankly most people have a hard time taking constructive criticism.

I can deal with the constructive criticism part; however, I dislike them because of the process.

Full disclosure: Some years ago and a couple jobs ago, I refused to sign my performance review. Yes, I’m a rebel like that. The reason was I fully disagreed with the “grade” my boss gave me. In Boss man’s defense, he had only been my boss for maybe 3 mos (previous one had left the company) and had no material to work with. Anyway, point of this is that I believe it should be a dialog vs. shoved down one’s throat. The process should be about getting the most out of the employee – and hopefully rewarding them as well. A review should never be a surprise and should always have logic and supporting material. In this case it had neither. So, I didn’t sign it. Never did by the way and I stayed there 3 more years and got raises. So yes I take them serious.

So, now that we have that covered, it’s that time again and here’s a flavor of the process at my current gig as shown in a conversation with me and Bossman during our 1 on 1 and the events that follow…

Boss: CV I’m sure you’ve seen the email from HR outlining the process for the 2011 Performance Reviews. Do you have any questions?

Me: Yes I’ve seen it. Basically, I need to write my own review, submit it to you, you’ll review, edit and we’ll get together to discuss, you turn it in, and we move on.

Boss: Yep, that’s pretty much it.

Later that week, I started the process with completing the form. It’s kind of like a combo multiple choice/essay. Rate yourself then justify it. Not a big deal, kind of weird stating how good you are, but being realistic at the same time. Anyway, I finished it and turned it in to Bossman.

Two months later (yes 2 mos) we meet again.

Boss: I’ve read your review and have some concerns. You’ve rated yourself an avg of 3.85. That’s excessive don’t you think?

Me: No, honestly I don’t. The scale is 1-5 with 5 being excellent. I think I have many things to improve on as you can see from my “areas of improvement section on page 9 (yes 9 of 10). But, I also believe in virtually all areas that I’m “above average” (3 on scale).

Boss: CV you are very good. You’ve done a great job. But, as you know we hire only top notch people here. And, as such you are average – top notch if you will, but average.

Me: Thanks, but in all honesty if I’m very good I believe I should be noted as very good. Not excellent, but also not average.

Boss: CV I understand. But, look we use a bell curve in grading people and about 80% fall under average. 10% are above average and 10% are, well, below average. Be happy you are average.
So, I guess that’s about it here.

Me: So what you are saying is even if we all kicked ass here, we would still force people into “average” and also into the 10%below average?

Boss: Yeah that’s pretty much it, but it is what it is and there’s nothing we can do about it. (Looks at watch, we’ve been here maybe 15 minutes and he showed up 15 mins late) Look, I’m late for another review with WikiWally and you know that ones going to go long because he’s a talker, so are we done here?

Me: You don’t have any comments to add to the written part of my review?

Boss: No not really, you wrote it all up very well.

Me: So after two months you have nothing to add?

Boss: No. Listen CV, look it’s not like it matters…pretty much no one is getting a raise.

Me: So some are?

Boss: Well, yes. But only the top ones.

So there you have it. No one takes it seriously. We’re all the best, but some are not so much. There’s no raises, except for the chosen few. Lots of time spent just for a file to go in an electronic drawer. And, should times change, 90% of the people are average or below and therefore first pickens for the layoff process should it come to that. And, the only thing Boss did for me was to demoralize me.

And, you wonder why I don’t like reviews?

P.S. – Some advice for current or would-be managers. Take reviews seriously. You owe it to your employees so they can better themselves. And, you owe it to yourselves, so you can get the most out of your team. Don’t make a joke of it.

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About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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8 Responses to The best average person I can be

  1. Tricia says:

    “Thanks to technology, the world is going bonkers. And it’s going to get more bonkers – bonkers squared in a few years with bonkers cubed on the way.” – Tom Peters

    Because of the fast-paced and high tech environment in which the world is currently working, a lack of time to be “nice is feeding workplace incivility. And there is a link between such behavior and performance reviews – employees who perceive themselves as victims experience high levels of fear and anxiety – paranoid that others are “out to get them.” Such perceptions adversely affect work performance and decrease motivation.

    Regarding your conversation with the bossman, a 2003 study measured the effect of feedback from managers to subordinates and found that when delivering performance feedback, males employed a direct approach, while females took a more participatory approach in order to involve the subordinate in the conversation – before leading up to the direct feedback.

  2. CubicleViews says:

    Now THAT’S a comment.
    In my experience female managers by far were easier to work with/for. And, I agree they are much more participatory – that’s good.

    As employees I think we owe it to ourselves to ask for more. Not be satisfied with an attitude where the bossman merely is getting the employee to do his/her work in the way of a review. Lack of time, etc. is no excuse.

    I still hate the process…

  3. shayatri says:

    i dislike the process as well. it all feels like the ‘2 hour meeting no1 pays attention to” types.
    One of my ex-boss thought it was better to have a 5 mins skype conversation instead and in tht 5 mins he repeatd evrything i filled in my form and said “that should do then, we appretiate you very much.bye”- *i dint get a salary hike by the end of it though.

  4. stuffbymichele says:

    I love your blog. I followed you over from The Bloggess.

    I just had my annual review yesterday. My team was combined with another a few months ago. I now report to a former peer – who’s been with the company for three months or so. Not only did my review not give any indication as to my performance over the past year as it relates to what amounts to a demotion, but it contained the same verbiage from last year! On top of that, my former boss was supposed to deliver the review but he suddenly became too busy at the last minute. So, yeah, it was a great opportunity to share… oh, no, I guess it wasn’t. LOL.

    • CubicleViews says:

      Wow. I too had one of those reviews where the boss literally used the same words from a previous year (another reason to keep them). It’s sad really.
      The time I refused to sign mine was a huge growth point for me that I’m very proud of and it taught me to take them more serious, especially when in the role of the boss.
      Thanks for sharing and great pics on your site especially the little white house.

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