The Weekly TPS Report – August 10

August 10? Where the hell did Summer go?

  • It’s been a couple weeks since I wrote the last TPS due to my vacation a week ago, so I’m happy to get back at it and writing again. Speaking of my vacation, did you all see how it ended with a trip to my local Costco?
  • I’m all for honesty, even brutal honesty, but when trying to sell something to someone perhaps this sales clerks might want to go back to sales school:
    Patron: What do you think of these on me?
    Sales clerk: Well if you were skinny I’d say yes, but these aren’t for you.
  • As an athlete during the Olympic games, it’s gotta be a bit of a bummer to hear the TV commentator say, “oh that was horrible!”
  • I’m pretty sure I saw a Hobo on my way home from work tonight who was wearing a kilt. Either that or it was a flannel shirt around his waste (grunge style). Oh, and he wasn’t wearing pants. Six of one, half-dozen of another?
  • Sending me an email with literally every line highlighted in yellow kind of defeats the purpose of highlighting, but is a good way to get me to hit “delete” immediately.
  • Brilliance on my part or just damn lucky, I’m happy to say that my vacation was strategically timed relative to Cubicle George’s.
  • I was told a few times this week that I should give up soda for my health. But, that would severely impact my Whiskey and Coke consumption which makes me happy. Happiness >; Health.
  • Dear coworker, please read this.
  • Do I have a problem? You be the judge…
    While at a local drinking establishment, the entertainer of the evening – an acoustic guitarist – says to me, “Hey you’re the guy who likes the Foo Fighters aren’t you? How about some Everlong?”
  • Let me give you some advice…the best way to increase the odds of me reading your email is to actually send it to me.
  • Why NBC thinks it needs to put their Track & Field announcers in 1970s styled track sweat jackets is beyond me.
    I’m just super happy that they don’t have the same philosophy for the announcers of men’s swimming.

About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
This entry was posted in Weekly TPS Report and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Weekly TPS Report – August 10

  1. free penny press says:

    I think we share the same “highlighter-emailer” except mine arrive in the eye-ball searing shocking pink. I kid you day I’m responding with my entire email in loud ass purple..and the tracksuits are as lame as their “Ken”poses.. I want an announcer lounging in a lazy-boy chair, drinking a cool one and saying things like “bummer” instead of “horrible”
    Have a fantabulous weekend Mr Foo!

    • CubicleViews says:

      Thanks my friend.
      I have a thought. What if we (since we both have the problem) go to the offending party’s computer monitor and highlight our reply on their screen? Right on the glass!

      PS that announcer you are looking for is me!

      • free penny press says:

        Haha..that would be too rich.. can you picture their expression..I’m telling NBC now they need to liven up their announcer staff and I have the perfect candidate…:-)

  2. Sounds like you had a fun week. I have had someone tell me in a store that those pants look terrible. Actually I believe it was child bearing hips and that my butt was huge but what ever. Needless to say I did not get the pants! Thanks for the laughs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s