The Weekly TPS Report – Mar 8

Time to wrap this week up with a pretty bow and kick it out to the curb for the garbage man to haul away.

  • If every couple months the strategy changes, you really have no strategy at all.
  • I swear my dog is brilliant. We go on a mile or so walk and don’t see a single person. Then, at the one house where there’s a guy outside, she has to take a crap on his lawn. Who’s the master and who’s the puppet?
  • I had two IT incidents this week which pretty much killed what little confidence I had in my co’s tech leaders.
    1. One of our great online tools suddenly lost all the data I’d put in weeks ago. IT’s response: Ooops…sorry.
    2. A particular solution I was using stopped working all the sudden. After 20 mins of furious clicking and a handful of hmmm, I dunno’s, IT dude says, I probably should have plugged this in I guess. Bingo…working all the sudden.
  • Some stories ripped from this week’s headlines:
    1. Dennis Rodman is the new ambassador of goodwill and staged basketball games to North Korea, because well it makes perfect sense that he’d be the one to break the down the barriers…clearly the North Koreans only get 1990’s basketball games on NKTV…wait he’s not Air Jordan?
    2. Coincidentally after partying with Ambassador Rodman, Kim Jung Jr threatens to end the decades old cease fire with their neighbors to the south.
    3. Hugo Chavez, bad boy of the Southern Hemisphere (one of them anyway) dies and Hollywood mourns. Next thing you know the US Fed govt. will shut down to observe a day of silence (but will blame it on the sequester).
    4. Atty General Holder says he can’t rule out drone strikes against American’s on US soil. Phase 1 of Skynet becoming self-aware has commenced. John Conner where are you?
    5. Speaking of the sequester, with all the treats of mass hysteria at airports and planes being delayed, meanwhile the TSA said it’s ok to bring pocket knives on planes so long as the blade is “no more than 2.36” in length“. Makes sense, because those 2.5” blades are so much more fucking dangerous.
    6. Related, golfers of the world stop worrying. You too can now carry your clubs on a plane…well, only 2 of them which makes no sense at all, because we all know that you only need one club at mini putt putt courses and they provide it to you!
    7. The honorable Rand Paul, pulled out the big guns this week with an almost 13 hour filibuster. With the amount of coffee I drink I wouldn’t last 2 hours.
    8. Per Mr. Roadshow, if you suspect your spouse of gettin some on the side, check out Highway 87.BEw81IhCMAAEiKv.jpg-large

It was an interesting week that’s for sure. Did I miss any interesting “headlines”?

P.S. Mr. Obama and Holder, should you feel the need to practice some domestic drone strikes, let me know and I’ll give you Cubicle George’s iPhone to triangulate on.


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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4 Responses to The Weekly TPS Report – Mar 8

  1. free penny press says:

    #2 from the IT Techie would have had me polishing up my Billy-Jack kick (if you are too young to remember, a Chuck Norris roundhouse would do).. hope the new week is good and *cheers*

  2. lablover22 says:

    You underestimate the power of .14 inches. And I might be the worse golfer on the planet but even I know you need more than 2 golf clubs!

  3. lablover22 says:

    Hey look! ^^ That’s my post up there!

    • CubicleViews says:

      Will you look at that. If I were cruel I’d delete it jus t a s a joke. But, alas I’m not so enjoy your prominence as a commenter. You may not be first but you are in the top two. Worked for Avis (if you’re too young to get that. Hit up google, but don’t tell me as I feel old enough already).

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