The toilet is calling

I have issues. That much is clear to anyone who has read this little ol’ blog. Perhaps my most well documented issue has to do with public bathrooms. Or, maybe more accurate, the office bathroom.

Exhibit A: Where the hell did these people learn to pee?
Exhibit B: A personal note often says it best.
Exhibit C: Just hit the “tags” on the right for Bathroom

But, just when I thought I’d seen, and unfortunately heard, it all…today something happened that scared the crap outta me (yeah I know that’s a horrible pun, but it was pretty accurate).

But, before I go into that, let me explain something. At our office we have this cool application that takes a voicemail and transcribes it into text which is then sent to your email. It’s a great tool that allows me to not only forgo answering the phone, but now I don’t even have to listen to the caller’s voice!

OK, back to the story.

Today, I received a call from the bathroom. No, it wasn’t from the next stall asking if I could “spare a square”. That would have been normal.

It would seem the call came while I was at yet another god forsaken meeting and when I got back to my desk I was checking email.

And, that’s when I saw it.

I actually got a voicemail from the bathroom! No, not someone in the bathroom calling me (which is WAY wrong), but from the actual bathroom itself!


Needless to say, I didn’t call him (I just assumed it’s a him) back. But, I’m worried that without the codes I won’t get into the stall the next time nature comes calling.


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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14 Responses to The toilet is calling

  1. lablover22 says:

    Bwahahaha! I really need to work in an office. Working from my own kitchen totally sucks. Nothing exciting every happens. My sink has yet to leave me a message.

    • CubicleViews says:

      Repeat after me: You do not want to work in an office. It is far from fun and games and, unlike you in the kitchen, you actually have to get dressed in a presentable way when in the office.

      If you like I’ll send you recordings you can play from under the sink.

  2. javaj240 says:

    I’ll bet his name was John or, possibly, Lou.

    • CubicleViews says:

      And, here I thought it would take 4+ commenters before that came out. Well done.

      • javaj240 says:

        I know it was less than inspired, but I just couldn’t resist. LOL! I would love to know why you need a code for the bathroom… is corporate America now keeping track of the number of flushes their employees engage in? OMG.

      • CubicleViews says:

        It’s called Productivity Per Pee Visit, or PPPV. They are trying to decide if it makes sense to increase the wifi coverage in the stalls so peons (get it?) like Cubicle George can be effective everywhere.

      • javaj240 says:


  3. free penny press says:

    We have bathroom codes too and I am always off the day the email arrives with our new when I get back to work, and sift through the 100’s of emails it could be a day before I see the code.. so yeah, then I stand outside offering passers-by a buck if they tell me the new code..
    but you got a voicemail so I better call you Bossman from now on 😉

  4. I have enough issues when someone starts talking to me in the restroom. But to have the actual facilities call?!

    Either Skynet is alive and well or you need a new tinfoil hat when inanimate objects start communicating with you.

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