The Weekly TPS Report – March 29

Let’s get right to this week’s wrap-up and other random thoughts.

  • First is it “wrap-up” or “wrap up”? Sheesh this English shit is hard.
  • Happy Good Friday everyone (or at least those who claim to be Christian a few times a year). I sure hope my coworkers believe because I’m not sure I can take another Crappy Friday. PS-no we don’t get today off at my company.
  • Dear men – don’t wear Uggs. In any weather. Tom Brady looks stupid in them. You are no Tom Brady. So, imagine how dumb you look.
  • Related – also don’t wear sunglasses on the back of your head indoors…at night. You look like a meathead.
  • I often have to pick up Kid 1 or 2 from some sorta event in the evening since they can’t drive yet. As I pass the time while I wait for them, I often work on my master spying and recon skills. Because, you never know. Yes, I’m watching you.
  • The other day the Mrs and I were walking through a parking lot. I caught her looking at this lady’s butt and said…
    “Are you checking out her ass?” – Me
    “Ha, no I was trying to see what kind of yoga pants those were.” – Mrs
    “In that case, I totally wasn’t checking out her ass either.” – Me
    Well played Me.
  • It seems the new buzz word in cubeland is “Collaboration”. Apparently my coworkers haven’t embraced this yet as I witnessed 6 people in 1 cube huddled around a single laptop watching 1 person edit a doc.
    And, no we don’t work for a highway crew.

In this week’s Ripped From the Headlines files:

  • One California official, shockingly from Berkeley, has a great idea to raise revenue for the government (aka TAX YOU). He wants to tax your emails. I won’t mock this particular governmental jackass. No, I’d rather mock the dumbasses who voted for this particular governmental jackass. Bet you feel like a moron huh?
  • It must be a great feeling to make a major sacrifice and decide to dedicate oneself to being a servant of the people and working for the government. Oh that and the life-long pension that pays more than the President of the US.
  • In yet another example of great ways to spend your tax dollars, the University of Iowa was given a Federal Grant (i.e. your tax dollars) to the tune of over $876k in order to study the Benefits of Snail Sex. They aren’t even US snails…they’re from New Zealand!
    One thing they noted was, “…nearly all organisms reproduce sexually at least some of the time…”
    Clearly they failed to interview the married snails.
  • Speaking of marriage, the Supreme Court of the US is currently hearing arguments about Gay Marriage.  It’s quite exciting actually as we’re finally expecting a decision one and for all in June (or at least until the next lawsuit).
    I for one really don’t care if men want to marry women, men marry men or women marry women. Makes no difference to me. But, many people are eagerly awaiting the SCOTUS’ decision.
    I’m betting that the divorce lawyers are at the front of that line as this represents a whole new market for them. Chaaa Ching!

About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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