The Weekly TPS Report – April 5

Cinco de Abril…just doesn’t have the same ring as Cinco de Mayo. Nonetheless won’t stop me from cracking open an ice cold Corona (or 4) this evening (afternoon if I’m lucky).

So, now that the week is over what have we learned and observed?

  • I may not believe in the Easter bunny, but if he comes baring a bottle of really nice wine or whiskey, I’m not looking that gift bunny in the fluffy tail. 
  • One of my Superhero traits, and yes I have many, is being able to subconsciously seek out and step in dog crap so you mere mortals do not have to. You’re welcome.
  • A word of advice to those who go off half, or even full, cocked. When bitching out coworkers for not showing up to the meeting you scheduled, it’s probably best to make sure you actually sent the meeting invite.
  • I was really hoping this perpetual fool would take one day off in the year. So, much for that dream.
  • iOS devices and the ability to schedule appointments or reminders on my kids calendars has really helped with my kids completing their chores. For example, the other night I scheduled a weekly recurring appointment for Kid 1. When he noticed it, he said, “Oh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me Dad? Seriously, you scheduled an appointment for me to pick up the dog poop?”
    BTW, this is an end result of having that Superhero power above.
  • I’ve come to realize that I would enjoy mornings so much more if they started at 10 am or later.

Things overheard in Cubeville this week:

  • “I kind of like a little crack.”
  • “Do you know how IBM spells their name?”

    Yes, I know, you wish you worked with me.

In this week’s Ripped From the Headlines files:

  • Hey Kim Jong-Un, it was cute when you did that Gangnam style thing (that was you wasn’t it?) and later invited Dennis Rodman over to play for a while, but now you’re just being an asshole.
  • “Man these guys are old. I’m sure glad I got to see them before the retire or die.”
    – Me in 1989 at a Rolling Stones concert.
  • I bet whomever told Kevin Ware to go out there and break a leg feels horrible now.
  • You remember those Stimulus Packages meant to create jobs and help the economy rebound? Well I think someone misunderstood what “stimulus” was referring to.
    You see, $423k went to the Indiana University to study “Correct Condom Usage“.
    So, how’d it go? Well there were no jobs created, but they did find that correct use of condoms is highly effective in preventing sexually transmitted diseases.
    Your tax dollars telling us something we’ve known for years.
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About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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