I gave them my loyalty and they gave me a card

So, there I was, in yet another airport. In what city doesn’t really matter. I was awaiting my flight after having arrived super early because “you know security can be a nightmare early in the morning with all the business travelers.”

Turns out I breezed through security, which beats the alternative. So, that mean sitting down in a chair at my gate with a Venti cup of heaven for an inordinate amount of time.

As I’m minding my business scrolling through my Twitter stream looking for something to entertain me for a few minutes they announce we’ll be boarding soon.

“Good morning ladies and gentleman and Welcome to United. We’ll begin boarding first with people needing assistance, then families with little kids, then military personnel in uniform and then our Triple Platinum members. This will be followed by those with Elite status.  And, children under 5 feet tall traveling with a 3 legged dog named “Hoppy” in a carry-on bag. If there are any androgynous people, Boom it’s your lucky day…you’re up next. Then and only then will Group 1 go. Folks this is going to be a very full flight. If you have more than 1 bag and are in Group 3 or higher you might want to start planning on checking that bag now.”

<OK so I may have exaggerated that a bit.>

As I look down at my boarding pass I see: Group 4. 

Sigh. Apparently I’m riding in the baggage hull. At least I’ll be with my bag.

“Excuse me, but will Mr. CV please report to the podium.”

FUCK! They never call you up to the podium for good news.

Hi, I’m CV. – Me

Oh good morning Mr. CV I have something for you. – Podium helper #1 on the left hands me an envelope.

Umm, is this good or bad news? – Me.

Oh it’s good news. – Podium helper #1 on the left.

Is it “I’m going to First Class” good news? – Me.

Oh Mr CV it’s NEVER that good. – Podium helper #1 on left smiles and laughs to Podium prime person on the right.

<Grumble> – Me.

So I walk back to my seat (yes I left my bag that I’m going to have to check unattended Mr and/or Mrs Lt Cmdr TSA!), sit down and, while all around me are wondering what kind of special person I am, I open my personal envelope to find, this…Picture1

So, apparently, after 20 years of membership, I’m still sitting in the center sear of row 27, but I get a handwritten card! How nice. The least they could have done was give me a free drink.

Apparently, membership doesn’t really have it’s privileges.

Lloyd Dobler, I know how you feel <1:16 in>.


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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7 Responses to I gave them my loyalty and they gave me a card

  1. Twenty years. The leat they could do is let you have a view of the cockpit while the plane is in flight or something semi-exciting. What do they think people will actually do with these cards. Maybe you could have it laminated and wear it around your neck so they will know not to treat you as some rank and file tourist or vacationer.

    • CubicleViews says:

      I would’ve settled for a free drink. Even little plastic wings would’ve been ok. A cockpit tour in flight (pre-drink of course) would’ve been awesome, however I’m afraid I’ve irked Lt Cmdr TSA too often.

  2. Would you have felt better not to be acknowledge at all? That is just a question I am pondering (withOUT my usual snark.)

    Just saying.

  3. lablover22 says:

    They couldn’t give you a pen. You could have used it as a weapon. If an old man can use a windbreaker (that’s what it was right?) then you can use a pen. You’re lucky they didn’t give you the card and then take it back. They could have laminated it and just written your name on it with a dry erase marker, then wiped it off. Cards are safer than pens. Of course I am a master card thrower and can inflict serious damage with my skils- but that’s just me.
    Congrats on your accomplishment. And how did you end up in group 4 if you got there early?

    • CubicleViews says:

      So you’re a ninja card thrower? Sweet!

      And on United it doesn’t matter how early you are if you’re in damn near the last row you are a high number group to board.

  4. Pingback: The Weekly TPS Report – June 21 | The Cubicle Views

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