The Weekly* TPS Report – Sept 28

* Ok, so let’s get the awkward part of the way. If it’s going to be a “weekly” report, it pretty much should be something that’s done “weekly”. But, alas I’ve been busy so, in my case, it’s more or less weekly.

  • One of the things about cube-life is that you pretty much hear everything that goes on around you – good or bad. For example, this week I overheard a coworker explaining to another what could only be interpreted as office porn:
    “I’d like to make my package accessible to everyone.”
  • I’m a Mac guy being forced by work to live in a PC world. One thing about PCs is that it seems like every week there are Windows updates to deal with. And, in some weeks there are two forced updates. Unfortunately, I’ve become used to the updates and the 15 minute forced break they bring. But, this is getting ridiculous…52 updates?


    59 minutes and 4 restarts later…back in business!

  • Social media is odd. Take for example three mediums that I and likely many of you use. LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter. All three involve posting thoughts on the interwebs for the world to see (or ignore). And, yet they are so different in their goals and audiences. But, when the day is done I think I’ve figured out how to best summarize them:
    LinkedIn – where people I’ve never worked with and don’t know want to “connect” with me so I can help them get a job they’ll probably not like.
    Facebook – where people I actually know, from long ago, friend me and “like” what I’m saying about my kids, yet I haven’t seen them since we were kids.
    Twitter – where people I don’t know and quite possibly don’t even really exist “follow” me and I pray they don’t turn out to be people I actually know.
  • Friday’s for me used to be all about chillin and doing very little work. Clearly I’m doing something wrong, because this is my calendar overview from this past Friday.BVI8glMCcAAnHkm

In this week’s News Ripped From the Headlines

  • One of my favorite shows, Dexter, ended last week. Or did it? Winning the Emmy for Best Show To Have The Worst Last Season Ever, Dexter ended with him killing sister and then himself. But, no, Dexter didn’t die. He’s now a Lumberjack. Yes, that’s right. The guy who used to play with sharp knives is now playing with big wood. That last season was the worst written piece of crap I’ve watched in a long time.
    Dexter, I loved you. I loved your sister Deb’s potty mouth – “holy filet of fuck” was my favorite Deb F bomb line. But, I’m so glad you are done with and your writers should be ashamed.
  • In an attempt to regain the “We are the craziest state in the Union” award from Florida, this week a California firm dedicated to making the environment better has applied for a permit to kill eagles. It’s not like they’re bald eagles. That would be anti-American.
  • So Senator Ted Cruz got up and spoke for 21ish hours this week in front of the great Senate of the United States. Bear in mind there was virtually no Senators actually there. So it was kinda like when I present in a webinar for 200 people who signed up yet only 22 show up.
  • Speaking of Obamacare. Next week is the first day the exchanges open. It’s a glorious week. Wait…you don’t know what the exchanges are? Oh you aren’t totally up on what Obamacare will mean to you? Well guess what, you aren’t alone. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only ones who are eagerly awaiting it’s arrival are the folks saying, “Sweet! The Democrats wanna give us more free shit that someone else way pay for! Bring it on!”
  • I saw that the new Iranian President (which is code for the guy who goes in public and does whatever the Supreme Leader says) tweeted this week about Obama. Then promptly deleted it. He probably sent a selfie wiener pic and thought better of it.
  • In this week’s “Parents and Lawyers Suck Files” I bring you an ex-NFLer who was very much wronged by a bunch of kids and attempted to provide a “teaching moment”. Yet, lawyers and stupid parents, who will likely yield equally or greater stupid kids, decided that they were in fact the ones who were wronged.
    People so piss me off. And, lawyers like this…I hate you…yes hate.
  • So not only does what will likely go down as one of the great clusterfucks of all time kick off next week (Obamacare), but on the same day (Oct 1) our government may shut down because once again we can’t pass a budget, can’t figure out what things can be cut from our “we’re gonna party like it’s 1999 and the world will end tomorrow” spending spree.
    You know what everyone? I’ve had it. This so called sequester which was going to cripple our country was a joke that’s only impact was the super slow Department of Motor Vehicles decided to take another day off.
    I hope they don’t pass a budget. Shut the fucker down. Fire all the idiots. Let chaos reign. Let cats and dogs live together and zombies roam free.
    Oh wait, that’s right NOTHING WILL HAPPEN AGAIN!
    The only outcome will be stupid news people reporting stupid things government officials say like:
    “You don’t want your house to burn down do you?”
    “You don’t want our power grid to just turn off do you?”
    “You don’t want kids schools to shut down do you?”
    “You don’t want all the planes to fall out of the sky do you?”
    “You don’t want all the gun shops to not be able to do background checks and have thousands of people walk into our schools on Wednesday with assault weapons and kill all of your children do you?”
    Yes, folks, it’s a joke. The whole thing is a joke and life will go on. The government will keep growing at an unprecedented rate. We will keep growing our debt at an unprecedented rate. And, we will all have to keep going to work just like we did yesterday.
    Move on.

Last time I introduced a new feature called Today’s Fact That Will Blow Your Socks Off from the book appropriately called: 1,227 Quite Interesting Facts to Blow Your Socks Off.

Today’s fun fact:

In 2008 a man in Ohio was arrested for having sex with a picnic table.

And here people were worried about the gays…

Finally, this week’s Favorite Search Term Leading People To My Blog:

Screen Shot 2013-09-28 at 10.43.50 PMOK I’m done.


About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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2 Responses to The Weekly* TPS Report – Sept 28

  1. audreymarie says:

    Clap clap clap!!!! Going to have to share this one!

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