The Weekly TPS Report – Oct 26

  • People often say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when talking about kids traits and their parents. Well, given the amount of girls who come to our house to hang with the teen boy, I’d say he’s from a different orchard altogether.
  • I finally figured out why they list out all of the possible side effects of drugs when advertising them on TV. It’s to make you feel not so bad about whatever issue you have that prompted taking the drug in the first place.
  • For the amount of coffee I drink, you’d think I would’ve learned by now how to pour a cup without spilling half of it on the counter.
  • It doesn’t build my confidence when I’m forced to upgrade my computer (twice a week) and it says, “There is Less Than a Minute Remaining”, yet 10 minutes later the little wheel is still spinning.
  • Pretty successful week overall. I didn’t get fired and my kid only said I ruined his life 3 times. That’s 1 less than last week.
  • I like the word I’d’ve.
    Grammer Nazi’s be damned!
  • My cynicism is like moonshine. It’s clear and harsh.  And, while many people laugh at us cynics, truth is they can’t handle us.
  • This is an example of a dialog between a coworker and I trying to schedule a meeting:
    Me: I’m only available on Monday or Tuesday.
    CW: How about Friday?
    Me: Monday or Tuesday.
    CW: Thursday?
    Me: Monday or Tuesday.
    CW: Friday?
    Me: Sure <I’m totally not going to show up>
  • I’m finally going to get a good nights sleep now that my Yellow Pages have arrived.BXY9JrICcAIliLSP.S. Yeah I totally used the “1972 Filter” on that picture. Cause, Yellow Pages.
  • HR is all about the “open cubicle environment” now, because the belief is it fosters “collaboration”. Well, last time I checked collaboration didn’t mean everyone sitting there with noise canceling headphones on trying to ignore each other.

In this week’s News Ripped From the Headlines:

  • The word of the week was “Glitches” as in: The Obamacare system is gonna be great despite the many glitches. Hey Sebelius, I can totally understand how you feel.BU4PkyYCIAAxCO3
  • You think the public is upset over the screwed up rollout of the Obamacare website? That’s nothing compared to how pissed the NSA is since they were counting on all that medical info for new material.
  • Seems now that Obama’s team has made Obamacare wildly successful it’s time to move on. Now he wants to bring high-speed internet to 99% of the US students.
    Hey, that’s an awesome goal, but given recent major projects, I’m guessing it’ll turn out to be the equivalent of 1990 fax transmissions including the screeching noises.
  • “If you like your insurance plan, you’ll keep it.” Or, maybe not

In this week’s “Today’s Fun Fact” from 1,227 Quite Interesting Facts to Blow Your Socks Off I bring you this: Under extreme high pressure, diamonds can be made from peanut butter.

And, to close out these week, my favorite search term leading people to my blog this week was:

Screen Shot 2013-10-26 at 8.09.23 AM

Enjoy your weekend folks.

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About CubicleViews

Observations, thoughts & random bitching about cube life, food, beer, wine, whiskey and sometimes politics. Living the dream in a 6×8 doorless polyester walled cell.
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3 Responses to The Weekly TPS Report – Oct 26

  1. List of X says:

    The HR has about zero understanding about how other people work. Next thing you know, they’ll be putting 2-3 people into the same cubicle to share 1 computer, because that would really foster collaboration.

    • CubicleViews says:

      Ha yeah I could see that. It’ll be right after the Halloween pumpkin carving contest that only 8 Kool-Aid drinkers attend. All in the spirit of collaboration and spirit.

  2. Brian says:

    Iron Man Satchel… that kills me.Think they were disappointed when they arrived?

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